Chapter 10My Name Is...
It’s almost the end of first semester. That means Christmas. That means not coming to school for nearly two weeks. That means I can’t see everyone. Two years ago, I would’ve been glad. Actually, I might not have even cared. This year though, this year I do care. Two weeks of doing nothing, of talking to no one. Everyone lives in the town next to us, which is about ten minutes away.
Two things could happen; One, I do nothing or two, Calista and Michelle will want to hang out nonstop. I wouldn’t have a problem with it, except that they get mad when I want to stay home and write or draw.
They know I love drawing. They know I write, but it doesn’t benefit them. It doesn’t fascinate them. They don’t like it; therefore they refuse to take it as an excuse to not hang out with them. It’s not my fault that they can’t entertain themselves – that they need to be with someone everyday until that friend needs to go home.
Chapter 9My Name Is...
After months of urging myself on, I got the courage to talk. Alyssa and I talk like it’s nothing, Leah and Lynzee act like we never stopped, and I’m talking to Michael (a.k.a. “New Kid.”)
He actually started talking to me. He used my trick actually; say something aloud casually. What he said surprised me a bit. I had been listening to Mason argue with someone if it was called “cheese toasty” or “grilled cheese.” All of a sudden, Michael looks at me and says, “I bet by the end of the day, this whole school will be at war,” and he smiled.
I looked at him and laughed. “Trust me, they will be. I know these people well enough.”
We laugh, then there’s an awkward silence. My turn. “Sooo… Grilled cheese or cheese toasty?”
“Oh, my God, yes! Thank you! So far, you’re the only other person to say that!”
Mrs. Johnson walks up, keys jingling
Chapter 8My Name is...
School’s fun now. I have the time of my life there. I actually enjoy this place I once called a prison. Peyton, Michael, Mason, Parker, and… wait no. The guys are there for Peyton. Who cares? They talk to me and we all laugh. This is mostly in band. Any other class, well, I don’t remember. My fun thoughts overlap the “bad” ones. And soon, it’s the last day. And I don’t even remember a thing…
8th grade: 13 and 14 years old
It’s like I’ve been brainwashed and placed into today, the first day of 8th grade. I don’t remember anything that has happened before this. Things did happen though, because my jacket is actually unzipped. Since when do I unzip my jacket? I always cover up my body. Now, I can look in the mirror and unzip my jacket like it’s nothing. I guess it is nothing.
And my hair is short. Not like a boy’s haircut, but shorter than any other girl’s hair. It’s pretty. And I don
Chapter 7My Name Is...
I’ve talked to her multiple times. Every time I did, it ended pretty well, because now we’re at lunch. Colleen’s not here, but Leah is. I guess I always will have my physical demons. I can’t escape them. Alyssa’s not here. I knew she didn’t care for me. I was an annoyance to her last year. A waste of space.
Yet now, people seem to be annoyed with Peyton. I don’t see why. She’s pretty and funny and not afraid to be herself. And I’ve noticed I’m opening up because of that. My personality is starting to shine. I actually look happy. I’ve noticed that Peyton wears makeup. Sure, it’s not big deal, every other girl does. I used to wear it, but it was just mascara and you couldn’t tell. So I quit wearing it. Now I see that I could maybe wear some more and look good. I could try some new things.
I’m really different now. It’s been a few months. Peyton and I are good friends. I’ve f
Chapter 5My Name Is...
It’s the end of November and that means it’s finally almost Christmas. It’s just a normal cold morning when I walk in, but something doesn’t seem right. It’s like the world is darker today. The world seems a lot larger today. I feel so small. I sit down in my normal spot on the bleachers and close my eyes. I’ve tried so hard to rebel against the group. They always, always win.
I wait for Drew. Ever since she’s apologized, I’ve forgiven her. She hasn’t called me Fay since. She hasn’t hurt me since then. Maybe she is as sensitive as me. Maybe she could feel my pain… That would involve opening up though. That would involve revealing everything. She walks in. Whatever thoughts I had of her before had quickly disappeared. She sits next to me. “Lydia,” she says hesitantly.
“Um,” she whispers. “My dad wants to sell the house.”
I can’t focus on anything
Chapter 3My Name Is...
The end of the school year eventually starts blending into the beginning of this one. There was no in between. It feels as though summer vacation never happened. Short spurts of memories come into my head when I think of the end of the year. Nicki would get aggressive and pull peoples’ hair for no reason. She never pulled my hair. Alyssa invited me to her birthday; she ended up crying because Nicki started a fight. I remember staying up late until everyone was asleep, and then someone moved. They sat near the steps, silent. I sat up slowly and whispered with a slight slur, “It’s like this at every place I go to.”
The girl turned to me. “It seems like someone cries every single time.”
Sudden exhaustion washed over me and I laid back down, closing my eyes and falling asleep. That was the final memory. Now, I guess the past has caught up to me. It’s blending into today.
6th grade: 11 and 12 years old
Today, we started playing floor h